In this article, we take a look at all the advice you can get about having first night sex after marriage. There are different ways to approach the subject so check out this guide for the right information. 

First Night Sex: Make All Your Dream Come True With This Guide

A friend getting married sets off a series of events – helping with the preparations, meeting both families, rehearsing for the wedding…in the midst of this, you also need to sit your friend down and give them some marriage sex advice. You could be a married person yourself and your friend a complete novice at sex, so any advice you can dispense will hold tremendous value. If you are wondering what to discuss, here are a few pointers:  

1 – Talk about consent.  

If your friend’s potential spouse is not known to them, the wedding night can be tough. There is tremendous pressure to consummate the marriage. On the other hand, having sex with an unknown partner is a big challenge. Tell your friend to discuss the matter beforehand with their partner. Sex is wonderful when it is consensual –  and the exact opposite when it is done only to maintain appearances.  

2 – Safety is important.   

On the other hand, both partners may be willing to have sex as soon as they are married, but it is better to have safe sex from the first night itself. Though both may be in a monogamous relationship with each other, there is no point in having sex without protection and inviting unwanted pregnancies and STDs. Besides, intimacy is further enhanced with safe sex, since one is more relaxed and can enjoy the act more.  

3 – It’s about building a connection first.   

Even when both partners know each other well, there may be an invisible barrier that has prevented them from having sex so far. It is possible that both partners decided to wait to have sex till after the wedding. But before they rush into things, an honest talk on the subject helps. A frank discussion of concerns and fears – albeit with some nervous laughter – can make the subject less threatening than before, and pave the way for their first sexual experience.  

4 – Sexual compatibility is important.  

There is such a thing as ‘sexual chemistry’ and it may take a while to find the right  chemistry with their partner – so tell your friend to relax and go with the flow. It pays to be receptive to their own and their partner’s needs – this makes sex more rewarding and enjoyable. On the other hand, it’s a problem if one partner insists on something diametrically opposite to what the other likes. An honest conversation and trying different things can solve this issue.  

5 – Explore yourself. 

Rather than getting all worked up about how to have sex, take time to explore your own body and what feels good to you. You can have really great sex if you know what gets you going, what turns you on and which kind of touching you love. Explore your body by yourself to get this knowledge. Most people masturbate and it is natural to do so – it is also fun to do it with your partner.

6 – Location is everything for first time sex. 

Look for a safe, private area in your home where you will feel calm and you are not likely to be disturbed by lingering relatives or parents. 

Your setup must be comfortable and stress-free, because you will need ample time to spend time with each other and get to know one another. Get cosy, and your shared experience of intimacy becomes really special.

7- It’s a big deal – but not the whole deal. 

The biggest bit of marriage sex advice that you can give your friend is that marriage is not about sex alone. It takes a lot of work to make a marriage work, and sex is only one part of the entire equation. 

Don’t delve too much into how to have sex for the first time. It’s your first time – relax! It’s not going to happen like in the movies, and everything is going to feel really strange. You might need to start and stop things at various points because both of you will react very differently to each other – and it’s okay to feel awkward! 

Losing Your Virginity: 

When it comes to sex, the first night sex for newly married couples could be scary. 

The most common fears include the possibility of pain, bleeding, if it will change things between the couple or the chance of going wrong. 

Establish open communication: 

The key to enjoying however lies in being relaxed, happy with your partner, and most of all feel secure. Communication helps too, sharing feelings, fears and concerns can help establish boundaries (eg. We will only do it if we use protection or please take a shower before we start). Knowing a person better also ensures that it won’t end badly, knowing what each partner wants from the relationship is a good way to establish strong sexual chemistry. 

A good way to start the whole process is foreplay

Activities such as oral sex or just playing with each other’s body parts helps both partners get aroused. While the vagina begins to lubricate, its muscles relax, allowing ease of entry. While it is common for men to come during foreplay itself, that’s not always a bad thing. In fact doing so makes guys last longer eventually during sex. (However, it is important to wash one’s hands before wearing the condom after ejaculating.). 

So, take your time over foreplay – use your hands and mouths to explore each other. It is better to have water-based lubricant on hand for your first time – it might even be necessary. Pay attention to what your body tells you – if it hurts or is uncomfortable, stop it. It could be your body telling you that you’re not ready to go further, or that you prefer another position.  

Be safe

One thing to keep in mind while losing your virginity for the first time, is that STIs and pregnancy can occur the first time itself, this is why it is imperative to use protection and have sex responsibly.

It’s always recommended that the man and the woman both carry condoms. For men, however, a little practice in wearing one beforehand can avoid a little awkwardness that might follow. It also helps to get familiar with the sensation and better judge the perfect size required.  

Take it slow! 

While it may feel more dominating to be on top for the man, initially if the woman comes on top, it becomes easier for her to manage things at her desired pace. This could reduce pain and avoid the chance of bleeding. 

But a majority of women like to lie down and let the man go centimeter by centimeter till it stops hurting. 

One can also use lubricants, although, if the vulva is completely dry, it could be an indication that she may not be ready for sex.

At that point, it is perfectly OK to refuse – even if you’ve already started having intercourse. With that in mind, if you’re not ready, make sure you tell your partner. Inevitably, losing your virginity is something you will never forget. So trust and respect will make this memory a good one. 

Tips For Experienced Couples: 

Most people remember their first sexual experience even after several years have passed. The same goes for your first crush, your first love there is just one first time for it, and there are no do-overs! 

Your first time having sex could have been a mind-blowing experience, or a tender one. It could also have been pleasurable, sensual and loving – or a mixture of all of these. But for many couples, having sex for the first time is nothing compared to first night sex. Everything about marriage has happened as a result of peer pressure, especially when you’re getting up in age. 

Many people feel high anxiety or nervousness and frantically search online for first time sex tips. It’s okay to feel anxious. In fact, it is normal to feel a rush of emotions – happiness, excitement, tenderness, nervousness, fear of the unknown and several others that don’t even have a word to describe them! After all, there is no tried and tested formula for how to have newly married sex or first night sex. 

The good news is that despite all these emotions and the unknowns, having first night sex for experienced couples can be simply great and as good an experience as you will ever have. Take a look at the list of these to ensure that your first sexual experience is a memorable one. 

1. It is not wise to have sex unless you are ready for it. Always ask yourself: Who am I doing this for – me or my partner? Are you feeling confident in the decision you make, or does the idea of having sex excite or scare you? 
2. Discussing with your partner will ease much of what is to follow. This is not going to be an easy communication but it has to be done. If you have any concerns go ahead and discuss them openly. Recognize your partner’s emotions carefully when you have this talk – if they seem uncomfortable or not ‘into’ the idea, it is better to wait. 
3. Whether it is your first time or the 50th, your sex must always be safe for both partners. Visit your doctor or a pharmacist to get all the information you need about having safe sex. 
4. If you are protected while having sex, the act will feel much better! Using a condom for sex helps to protect against infections and unplanned pregnancy, so condoms are an important part of first time sex to ease your mind.
5. If you’ve been in a rut, then practice wearing a condom beforehand. This will reduce the unknowns. If you want to attempt other forms of contraception, you must talk to your doctor first. But remember that ‘using protection’ is more than preventing pregnancy. One also needs to be protected from infections and diseases. You don’t want your first night sex as a person with experience to seem like an amateur. 
6. If you’re a sexually experienced man, remember that most women are terrified of first time sex hurting a lot. If they are aroused and the pace is relaxed and they feel comfortable, then sex will feel really great, though a little new and strange.
7. Among the most important first time sex tips is to take it slow. There’s no need to rush things. It is all about experimenting and going slow. You don’t know what the other really likes, so go slow and don’t assume that it has to happen like it does in porn films.Taking it slow can reduce your anxious feelings of not knowing how to have sex and can help you get more comfortable with your own body as well as that of your partner.
8. As long as what you’re doing feels right, it’s okay to feel embarrassed. Just laugh it off and have fun with it. 
9. Sex is a game between two partners, and not everyone likes the same things. Focus on what feels great, what you both want and take your time to really make the experience intense. 
10. You can’t decode all the sounds and sighs coming from your partner the very first time, so it is better to communicate during the act. There is no need for long conversations; keep it simple with questions like, ‘Is that good?’ ‘Do you like that’, and saying ‘Oh yes’, ‘Wait’, ‘Softer’, ‘Harder’, ‘Keep going’. Then you can understand what’s working and what isn’t. 
11. First night sex has different meanings for different people. You could want it to be the start of an intense relationship, or just something you both avoid. Your partner might have a diametrically different view of sex than you do. Discuss your views with your partner to know what each of you expects from the experience.  Your first night sexual experience can be amazing but only if you have it for the right reasons. You can go ahead with it if it feels right and your body and mind are in sync about it. But if you have any misgivings and overwhelming feelings of fear, it is better to wait as you are a newly married couple.